Didn't happen today. In fact, the presentation was so bad, I nearly chased the clients out. I'm not trying to be mean, but paying low for high quality, that's really stretching it. I can't simply do it without feeling hurt. Fact is, I don't owe them an explanation, I just kept agreeing with their nonsense so that they would just get it over and done with. Just leave.
I'm really discouraged. Not by my work, but by being bullied consistently without making a clear stand for myself for the last 2 years. I just mellowed and quietened so much to the point I don't even know myself anymore.
It's hard to explain. And spanning over 4 blogs, I don't even know which one I should really enter right now. Save for a few hint of democracy amidst my utmost yearning to keep the secrecy of it all, it's getting plain tiring trying to find a hole to hide. And I'm just about out of holes to do that.
Someone up there: I know I've been bad. Take it out on me, yeah, but don't drag all them I love along. It's not right. And benevolence was supposed to be boundless, limitless, and not the opposite of revenge. Please. Give me a breather. If it isn't tough getting the company running and having the show on, it's tougher trying to keep my sanity with all these eccentrics you are throwing at me.
I love my job. To the point I'll kill myself. Let's, not go there.
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