LONELY AFTER MiDNiGHT

Maybe I've grown to become overly nocturnal and actually getting quite accustomed to the crickets and occasional breeze whistling through the window seams, it actually is quite nice to be up alone after midnight with minimal disturbances and calls. Then it gradually became a habit of staying up for the sake of it.

Now, I can't get into sleep and have nothing much to do in this witching hour. Totally bored, totally lonely.

I tried getting people out for suppers and drinks, but as of last week, I found myself completely out of people to call. Either work the next day, plans the following morning, school, trips, meetings, I can't seem to find anyone to just go chill. And as the numbers dwindled, I found out a truth... I actually have very few friends.

Maybe I'm naive. But I've been trying hard to make new friends, perhaps those who have a perchance for nights, and instead started staring down at younger and younger people. For friends who continue to beep on my IM at this hour, they would love the supper, minus the distance of a few thousand kilometers.

So it is, for the last 3 weeks, I finally ran out of people to whine to. And emptied my phonebooks with no one to complain to, talk to, even just share an emo moment. Damn, I think I'm seriously wasting my life.

And if that is true, I'd rather get high and happy while I'm at it, instead of staring down the net and the world wide web, feeling that sore of a loser.

I should really get my hair done right. For as long as I can remember, a new hairstyle perks me up for at least a day, each time I walk out with what the salon has done, and actually getting kind, endearing, and sometimes envious stares. If there is one thing I hate to do, that is to style my hair, myself. So imagine the yearning for admiration on days like these.

Oh, strangely, the topic of looks came up in some conversations over the last couple days, and it seems there are more people who are oblivious to the fact that not-so-good-looking people like myself, actually wished for a better face. Then the flow of topics across different conversations (considering I'm the median) came to me, not having it easy like many others who are better endowed financially. Then again, I'm not exactly the best businessman material to begin with, and my hardworking antics and ethics aren't exactly in their best forms too...

I'm actually getting quite sleepy from this. LOL

Sorry folks... I gotta edit this one again soon... shutting eyes...