Monday, May 01, 2006

AND WHEN THE WORLD DON'T UNDERSTAND

You do.



Aquarians have this perculiar sense of being themselves. They can't seem to adjust to conformity and certainly cannot withdraw themselves from ambiquity. It's like talking to a wall on a mundane day, and meeting the volcano on New Year's Eve. The most horrednous trait - they know!

At different stages in life, we see a shift in believes and self-fulfilling prophecies. Some make good of life, others thrash the very fabric of living. And it tears away on some very strong-willed goals that, once achieved wields no sense of satisfaction or gratification, or once failed, embroils a whole brewery of excuses, explanations, or reasons. But whatever's the case, life isn't the bitch.

And so I heard this really incredible love story of living, hatred, forgiveness, betrayal, and repetition. I mean, not that I detest or emphatise, least of all feel the guilt of standing shoulder to shoulder to be called a victim or the murderer, it instead opens a bigger option of not doing it at all.

Even though, sporadically at different time, certain characters present themselves worthwhile of understanding and realising a situation we're in, no one, and I therefore conclude, not one single person can fully comprehend the vastness of experiences and reasons to indulge in someone else's life, when they have one of their own, or when they do not, they cannot be bothered simply because their own is not worth anything to themselves.

Do you ever notice how the mouse scroll button take you to the bottom of the page no matter how little you scroll - after 2 touches, you're at the bottom. This is a parallel to falling victim to "Trying to Understand". You get to the bottom of it yet have no idea why you're there in the first place. So why fanthom anything at all when what matters most is yourself?

True, because you can care less. Not true because you're Aquarian, the all-round people's people, the powerhouse of freedom, and the victim of philosophies.

Take the everyday street person, the mofos, the weirdoes, the beggar - none make the mark of girly subway travel of life simply because no such thing ever existed for humankind, yet, a natural thing to every other living organism. How so? A leopard stalks its prey - if it gets it, it feeds, if it doesn't it moves on to the next. But the common man? He fails, he complains, he succeeds, he indulges. Was there one person in this world ever the first fine example of nature? Ghandi? Alexander? Lincoln? van Gogh? Weegee? Who did they want to benefit and exemplify? Other human beings.

And thus goes the threadworks of nature. Yet, this is where repairs are tried and tested on - Aquarians come to the rescue. Die tryin, it doesn't matter. Just die trying.

So when it gets to careers, they can't settle; when it gets to family, they need to embrace; when it gets to love;

They wait.

They can be blinded, and then, they'll wait.

So goes the story of Romeo and his beloved Juliet in a web of dumb mis-communication. Throw them a pair of mobile phones and see if the dumb tragic ever happens. Yet, it happened, and it happens. Simply because Aquarians cannot live without the sense of being lonely and out of love - the very condition that tears "gots" and "haves" yet gives rise to the very cosmopolitan space and time we're so familiar with. I never believed in suburbs and dainty towns; backward or not, it's always the same.

A farmer romps his pigs cos they were not producing at all. For ten mornings he stuck to his routine but still saw no results. By then, he was exhausted, and he decided to give up. The next morning the pigpen were a din - the pigs wanted the farmer! Nature at its best.

So when love came to town, what did the Aquarian say? He said he is crazily in love. And when life came to town, what did the Aquarian do? She celebrated her rebirth.

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A man found himself shot in his chest during a freak gunfire showdown between the police and the local hoodlum. He collapsed on the floor and breathe easy, hoping someone would come his way and to his aid. He closed his eyes briefly and prayed, yet the shot rang loud in his ears.

As he pressed against his chest with excruciating pain, he remembered he was Aquarian, got up, and started making his own way to the hospital. Limping with all his might, and supporting himself with walls and pillars along the way, he made it to the doctor who operated and removed the bullet within the hour.

2 days after, he went home as if nothing went wrong, yet proud he survived, and showed off his scars to all his friends.

Then it happened again, deja vu, same spot, same place, same gunshot. He collapsed, and got up soon after, made his way down to the doctor, and survived yet again. Because he was Aquarian.

Twice he was shot, and twice he survived. Yet not one day was he happy about that - he was angry that the police could not clean their acts up, and the hoodlum couldn't control their operations; the residents weren't minding their business, and the government had certainly forgotten about them.

Then, an idiot came along, cleaned up the place, florished the economy, and made good all things nice. Barely 5 years and the place became the number one tourist haven - to which, the man was not happy. Because now he is lonely, and nobody cares. Because he was Aquarian.

What pleases Aquarians? Good question. No answer is the answer so that they can jolly well go look for or somehow come up with the answer. That pleases Aquarians.

-------+-------

Isn't it strange that love can take a beating because gut feelings say so? I heard this story and I went wild. Then I asked, to what price do we pay to pursue the one? And if fate says not, what would you do then?

And I finally understood what another friend said about his feelings for someone - that aching that was of never meant to be situation. That he finally found his one love, that he could never be with. And that, to him, was true love. To be by his love, yet, not to be with his love.

Then there was this other theory of basic needs: a girl friend said she had fallen in love, yet she could not say and could not love because it was not meant to be. Because she was not good enough. And because she was not Aquarian.
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What then is real love? I conclude - is when it is unrequired and unacquired. For when you love, you throw too much in to get out. And when you get out, you don't love no more. Therefore, you will always love when you're in love. Unless otherwise, then it is not real love.

Hence the ultimate question is: were you ever in love? or did you ever loved? Or are you just playing along?

-------+-------

I couldn't post the picture of the party cos the ones in my camera were quite limited. So for those who did take some, please send them to me thank you!

I wish there's some kind of blackboard service for people to scribble notes yet they are all saved somewhere on the WWW. Ha~ guess not.

So till I get some more pictures, all I can say is that the party was a blast! Ha.

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