I was contemplating what to do tonight, after like totally maxed myself out on BBQ chicken wings set in front of the telly. Then came in here, fed my games addiction a little, and started chatting online. A week's worth of sweat at the congress and exhibition, plus 3 months of money woes (and still not out of it), I thought it be nice to just laze.
Kinda pointless to keep wondering how many people are swearing at me for not making the payouts on time. Damned. I'm so gonna lose 4 years of reputation basics, not to mention years of reliability. Soon to go in a matter of weeks. OH PLEASE OH PLEASE... PAY ME!!!
Gees... I'm so bored till I'm actually sending emoticons...
Oh well, maybe I've grown tired of blogging. Partially cos of the lack of content, but probably cos I don't want to report to cyberspace like some routine no more. For the fact that nobody really digs this site, and that there's so much to put into English text, its tiring man.
Anyway, my band's playing in Feb 2010. Check out the details on the FB page: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Nightsound/83712656511
Buy tickets early!
Monday, November 30, 2009
Monday, November 23, 2009
MAKE A TRAiL
And to think trails and trials are but 2 places off.
I've so vexed by a multitude of issues concerning the next big move - I'm getting many opinions and suggestions, just don't have the time to weigh the options. Then again, for the first time, my discouraged soul was immediately pushed to the front and shone a guilty light on for a change.
I WANT MONEY!
I've so vexed by a multitude of issues concerning the next big move - I'm getting many opinions and suggestions, just don't have the time to weigh the options. Then again, for the first time, my discouraged soul was immediately pushed to the front and shone a guilty light on for a change.
I WANT MONEY!
Thursday, November 19, 2009
SLEEP
I finally got some time off from work tonight, came home early, chilling out, then someone's gotta call me up and piss me off. I don't get it. Not like my mind needs anymore things to think about, but seriously, I just don't wanna be taken for a ride.
Can't people just tell how jealous, envious, uninterested others are when they get the vibe? Or is the vibe not apparent enough that it has to be all said?
OMFG. This is getting damned stupid. Regret tying up loose ends.
Gonna take a freaking long shower till I melt or something.
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And so I did. A really long, warm shower to beat the cold and to soothe the skin.
I'm peeling like crazy...
Can't people just tell how jealous, envious, uninterested others are when they get the vibe? Or is the vibe not apparent enough that it has to be all said?
OMFG. This is getting damned stupid. Regret tying up loose ends.
Gonna take a freaking long shower till I melt or something.
And so I did. A really long, warm shower to beat the cold and to soothe the skin.
I'm peeling like crazy...
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
BUZZED
Was trying desperately to do many things at a go, to the point I don't really know what I'm doing. Apologies for the lack of updates, but this month is totally crazy. Penniless, and fighting to survive.
Wish me luck.
Wish me luck.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
PROUD
Let's see... something I've done recently that I'm proud of... nothing.
I've been so tied up trying to figure out what went wrong, I don't even know why I'm even still at it when I can't even figure out why I'm figuring it out.
The most haunting thing is certainly the rubbish that has piled up from all the backlogs. Plus, with people not paying up, I'm just about to think it's game over.
Well, technically, it IS game over.
Now, maybe there is someplace I wanna be.
I've been so tied up trying to figure out what went wrong, I don't even know why I'm even still at it when I can't even figure out why I'm figuring it out.
The most haunting thing is certainly the rubbish that has piled up from all the backlogs. Plus, with people not paying up, I'm just about to think it's game over.
Well, technically, it IS game over.
Now, maybe there is someplace I wanna be.
Tuesday, November 03, 2009
CRUSHiNG
You are crushing.
Just as the world is promised, the world is un-promised. I cannot comprehend how people can say one thing and do another altogether. Is that right? Is that even the proper way of working something out at all?
It feels really bad when someone agrees to something to me, or assures me of something, and the next moment, it's completely different. Do you ever get that? While I try to deliver my words, people default without even needing to try.
Crushing.
If the feeling is akin to having the end of a shoelace stuck in between the foot and the shoe itself, I guess it'll be easier to bear.
Crushing.
To think I actually bore such occurrences, I must be really dying to be noticed, loved, or even asked about. It's almost like I'm in a state of attention-deficit or something. Oh well, perhaps it is time after all to cut some people out of my life for good, instead of hoping that they'll come around.
Gosh, I'm actually hungry, running in between this blog and the studio, dumping out music for an artiste. I can't hide my excitement, but things of late isn't looking too bright, so that sort of leveled things back to neutrality.
Since I last realised how few people I actually can call in an instant, I've been trying hard to keep a look out for luck-mates. Like they say, birds of a feather flock together, and it gets irritating doing things all by yourself after a long long while. And as the search goes on relentlessly, I also discovered how people tend to just sweep me aside for the fact that I'm useless lest I've something to offer.
Pragmatic in a way I suppose, but hey, I probably did the same to some people anyway. Pots and kettles will eventually get black.
Mounting bills, discolored interests, increasing stress... OMG. Given a million dollars, I might just head to the doctor for a check-up first, and make sure I know what's wrong with me for certain.
I've been lying to myself for the longest time that there is no medication for my condition. Point is, I can't afford it. So yeah, let's live and let live, see where I end up eventually. I do wish at times that life is a real flash, yet on other days, I hate the fact that I'll fall before the average census death age. Sucky, but while, too many should haves and what ifs to count to put things back into perspective isn't it?
Who's really reading this I wonder? Besides this little girl I take as a little sister that's been snooping around for info! LOL.
Jolly well, I should think I need to get some rest soon.
Just as the world is promised, the world is un-promised. I cannot comprehend how people can say one thing and do another altogether. Is that right? Is that even the proper way of working something out at all?
It feels really bad when someone agrees to something to me, or assures me of something, and the next moment, it's completely different. Do you ever get that? While I try to deliver my words, people default without even needing to try.
Crushing.
If the feeling is akin to having the end of a shoelace stuck in between the foot and the shoe itself, I guess it'll be easier to bear.
Crushing.
To think I actually bore such occurrences, I must be really dying to be noticed, loved, or even asked about. It's almost like I'm in a state of attention-deficit or something. Oh well, perhaps it is time after all to cut some people out of my life for good, instead of hoping that they'll come around.
Gosh, I'm actually hungry, running in between this blog and the studio, dumping out music for an artiste. I can't hide my excitement, but things of late isn't looking too bright, so that sort of leveled things back to neutrality.
Since I last realised how few people I actually can call in an instant, I've been trying hard to keep a look out for luck-mates. Like they say, birds of a feather flock together, and it gets irritating doing things all by yourself after a long long while. And as the search goes on relentlessly, I also discovered how people tend to just sweep me aside for the fact that I'm useless lest I've something to offer.
Pragmatic in a way I suppose, but hey, I probably did the same to some people anyway. Pots and kettles will eventually get black.
Mounting bills, discolored interests, increasing stress... OMG. Given a million dollars, I might just head to the doctor for a check-up first, and make sure I know what's wrong with me for certain.
I've been lying to myself for the longest time that there is no medication for my condition. Point is, I can't afford it. So yeah, let's live and let live, see where I end up eventually. I do wish at times that life is a real flash, yet on other days, I hate the fact that I'll fall before the average census death age. Sucky, but while, too many should haves and what ifs to count to put things back into perspective isn't it?
Who's really reading this I wonder? Besides this little girl I take as a little sister that's been snooping around for info! LOL.
Jolly well, I should think I need to get some rest soon.
Monday, November 02, 2009
LEARNT
I think I have to learn to be an employee in my own company. It's not working out, that I was actually working on Halloween, when I should just round up the cause and head out for a party!
It didn't happen of course. Not much to my liking.
Yes, I shall learn how to finish my work and call it a day. That way, I can be more productive than procrastinating.
I've been playing a word game online for the longest time, and guess what, I can actually feel my way around the keyboard, no longer needing to look at it as I type. That's gotta say that I'm spending too much time on the game isn't it?
----------+----------
I made one of my life's most disheartening decisions today. I told someone off, and decided enough is enough. Yes, indeed, enough is enough. I've been too nice to people all the time, to the point I can forgive people who do the same things all over, never learning their lessons, never learning from their mistakes. So I decided for sure, I cannot forgive anymore, for if there is one person I cannot forgive still, it's myself for being nice to others when they deserved nothing more than their responsibilities, and I, baring the brunt of their mistakes.
Then again, what is a mistake? To err is to be human. But yet, it feels like I'm used and only usable when needed. That's not what I am? I am someone. But it seems taking me for granted is easy, when I come forth so willingly and sincerely, its so easy to forget that I am human too.
Oh, salute those who've braved the weather with a cardboard over their heads. If God made a money-back guarantee on life... can I have my money back?
It didn't happen of course. Not much to my liking.
Yes, I shall learn how to finish my work and call it a day. That way, I can be more productive than procrastinating.
I've been playing a word game online for the longest time, and guess what, I can actually feel my way around the keyboard, no longer needing to look at it as I type. That's gotta say that I'm spending too much time on the game isn't it?
I made one of my life's most disheartening decisions today. I told someone off, and decided enough is enough. Yes, indeed, enough is enough. I've been too nice to people all the time, to the point I can forgive people who do the same things all over, never learning their lessons, never learning from their mistakes. So I decided for sure, I cannot forgive anymore, for if there is one person I cannot forgive still, it's myself for being nice to others when they deserved nothing more than their responsibilities, and I, baring the brunt of their mistakes.
Then again, what is a mistake? To err is to be human. But yet, it feels like I'm used and only usable when needed. That's not what I am? I am someone. But it seems taking me for granted is easy, when I come forth so willingly and sincerely, its so easy to forget that I am human too.
Oh, salute those who've braved the weather with a cardboard over their heads. If God made a money-back guarantee on life... can I have my money back?
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