YESTERDAY

My favorite pass-time seems to be chasing sorrow of late, making sure that musings of success turning into catastrophic epics stay fresh like blood oozing out the wounds. I recently completed the guide assembly of a song that someone else wrote for a film, and turns out, the song zipped stronger in my head than any other. As much as I thought the song was beautifully written, it didn't quite catch on with the masses. Proven. Destiny rules stronger than efforts, sacrifices, faith, and prayers.

So there. I've thrown in the towel, yet many things continue to creep up and seemingly breathes hope that just doesn't make anything better. It made me continue to believe, yet strangely, nothing is moving towards the final drive. If I was driving, the car must have crashed at just about every turn, even brushing with sparks on a straight road beside another.

How can I move on when there is really nothing left to believe in?

I used to say, that when you've nothing, everything else is to gain. True that. So do I really need to lose myself even, just to make it worthy and capable? Because, that's what is really getting close to being. Losing myself.

I've got some neat pictures that I've been wanting to upload. So here's one, that I really thought made sense.

KEEP

It's hard to imagine what life is like otherwise, when a sense of imagination does not complete the picture as much as living it.

I've come to accept all that's left behind, and it's a pity that attempts can be juiced out into tangible forms of results and scores, as compared to a translation of energies. The more I try, the harder it breaks.

Kenny, if you're reading this, honestly, go for it man.

WHAT THEY SAY

You know what they say about being absolutely intangibly zoned out - the whole body, mind and soul takes a dip into the parallel worlds of heaven, earth, and hell, not knowing actually where to be headed for, and just pauses into a warp. Then, snapping out, the physical body that relies on the existence of a mind, and the mind that holds on to whatever soul is left, returns to the only place it can exist. Zoned out. I've been there a lot lately.

I've recently been pricking my conscience over who I really am, where I am headed for, but incredibly, how to spin a truthful tale. It's humbling how people point out my mistakes in the hope that I improve, but more importantly, humbling even more because I've exhausted all my knowledge in dealing with things, and beginning to learn a whole lot more with help, rather than just plain sailing into the unknown, thinking everything that has come to pass, will repeat, materialise, and eventually take root, seeding the future paces rather than impeding them.

But well, we all learn. I would gladly be anywhere, doing anything, than here pondering about, nothing.