I kind of discovered today again, how fragile so many things are. The last I remembered, while I was trying to grieve my loss, who was really there? The family was more inconsolable than I was, my friends were spewing momentous graces, and buddies were pratically nowhere close to knowing what was running through my life. That woke me up. In the end, I only still had myself.
Everyone seems to have their own hands full. That's alright. Yet, I'm one of the firsts to know what on earth is happening with them, willingly or not.
Here's the best part: people's relationship fail, and it's because of me. People's misfortunes are "partially" due to me. And get this: somehow, something goes wrong, and I'm at some point involved.
Truly, someone does care. Or at least I think so.
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
OPPORTUNiST
I wonder if I should actually admire or denounce them - on one hand they are chancing upon great things that mean to them. But on the other, in the context of building that chance upon others' losses, it suddenly don't quite deserve my respect, particularly when that respect was built on trust, faith, or a simple believe.
I must say, whatever was due to happened, has. So I shouldn't really complain. And I suddenly realize how much people hate me. I'm not paranoid, but faced with hard facts and cold truths, or so some had claimed, I think I should take a couple more steps back and watch the skies, and not wish it fall down just because I think so.
My elementary teacher was right: to be a leader, is to set the best example. I'm just about that bad egg she said I was, amongst the many hatched ones that have gone on to great and mighty things.
Tonight feels like another episode of a stale drama serial, filled with mundane sorrow of the common kind. Perhaps I'm just as common as the patched paint on worn walls, nothing special, nothing new. I'm losing confidence all of a sudden, and chance has nothing to do with it. I think it's about time I took a break to grief proper on the demise of realism, my realism amidst surrealism. Wait, wishful thoughts would be a better description. Congrats.
I want to relive myself in a better light. Really.
I must say, whatever was due to happened, has. So I shouldn't really complain. And I suddenly realize how much people hate me. I'm not paranoid, but faced with hard facts and cold truths, or so some had claimed, I think I should take a couple more steps back and watch the skies, and not wish it fall down just because I think so.
My elementary teacher was right: to be a leader, is to set the best example. I'm just about that bad egg she said I was, amongst the many hatched ones that have gone on to great and mighty things.
Tonight feels like another episode of a stale drama serial, filled with mundane sorrow of the common kind. Perhaps I'm just as common as the patched paint on worn walls, nothing special, nothing new. I'm losing confidence all of a sudden, and chance has nothing to do with it. I think it's about time I took a break to grief proper on the demise of realism, my realism amidst surrealism. Wait, wishful thoughts would be a better description. Congrats.
I want to relive myself in a better light. Really.
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