GUTHRiE

Here's finally something new I wrote:

GUTHRIE

I wanna tell you something I never said before so let's not polarize it
I don't wanna break your mind no I really don't wanna talk a thing about it

The truth is I don't even know where to start
I don't really know if I can make a point about it
But I wish to say it as you ought to know it and
I can only try to say it like I think i know about it

And when you feel like that nothing stays the same That we can all just make mistakes Well It's fine, oh

And when you feel like that the time has come for change
That the world is as insane
We'll be standing here hand in hand again

When you feel like you're done with all the games
But you stop to try again
By your side I can

And when you feel like we've all come to an end
That no one stays ahead
And everyone just fades away

And I will find the reason to change
Feel like fading away

Some place some time you will find
The sweetest memories inside
Leave your tires all behind Fly

And when you feel like fading away
And when you feel like fading away

How about that for a change? Something absolutely emotive from zero. I guess it all came about when work got a little tiring and everyone seems so maxed out.

A lot has happened since, particularly with me being too over zealous with people and things: for trying to be helpful I think I got myself into a lot of back paddling, not to mention some crazy backward rearrangements for shitloads of things.

A moment please... I'm sitting alone by the beach listening to Guthrie drinking wine watching stars replying messages smoking cigar and feeling sore.

I'm really quite sick of being stuck in limbo and not having any support to move forward. And for trying to make a change, I'm getting quite battered for being arrogant, annoying, scheming, and everything else all connected to bad. There's a party that is always on without me. And I'm that one black sheep trying to make things different. So I asked myself finally: worth it?

No.

So what now really. I feel like fading away to escape all of these madness of self-perceived goodness, when in fact nothing really needs me for except that select few who loves me so very dearly. I am a writer self-absorbed in vanity of my mind's prowess.

Suddenly, the word "expectations" came up. It's always I expecting something or you expecting something else. I don't get how all these expectations will eventually pan out especially when it comes to everyone trying to be et naturale. The essence of being treated fairly is always lost when one expects the other to deliver and the other refuses to.

I think Guthrie should be heard by the beach with a breeze, like how I'm listening to it right now.

it's quite incredible sitting here looking into the wide dark skies. Where stars used to be, it's like now a patch of cotton candy clouds. Somewhat magical. Oh I do wish you were by my side.

I'm actually quite sick of blogging right now. The alcohol is kicking in and I'm trying hard to stay relative to my environment. Lol.